Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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