so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
