I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
