whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
