yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
