So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
my sisters under your porch take her home
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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