yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
