Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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