Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
