3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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