My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
