Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
