think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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