hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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