you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
