She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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