That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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