So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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