this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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