Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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