I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
