She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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