I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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