Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
