All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
