I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
