I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
