you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
