I only kidnapped one of them. chill
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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