So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
is that a dick in a sweater?
I need water and some morals
Randomize
