Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
