I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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