he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
