ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
