I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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