Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
