It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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