Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
should my penis look like a turkey
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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