Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
