Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
