We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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