Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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