Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
