David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
