Sry I called you an 8
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
