And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
