That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
