Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
