We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
