oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
